Mind Your Mane
Hair care is self-care
I went to the hair salon the other day to take a break from my braids and give my mane some TLC. I had back to back braid styles since pregnancy so I wouldn’t have to worry myself with styling it while pregnant and especially after I popped my baby out. Plus, your girl needed a trim because I wasn’t exactly keeping up with them during pregnancy.
I know I know, don’t judge me, I plan to do better lol.
I will say though, when I did my hair at home, I would trim a little off the ends each time for maintenance. So, fortunately they didn’t have to take much off this time, whew 😅.
While I was there however, a woman walked in with an issue. She wanted help with her hair after she took out her braids too. The problem however was she had already taken out her braids at home and washed her hair herself. Now to some, you may have read this and thought “So? What’s the problem with that? To others you may have read this and thought “oh no, tell me she detangled her hair before washing it”
Unfortunately, the answer was no.
Her hair was completely matted, mostly in the front and middle of her head. I was sitting next to her feeling so bad that I wanted to jump up from the styling chair to help her detangle it myself. Instead not one, not two, but three stylists rushed over and went to work on her hair, determined to untangle as much of it as possible.
As much as they tried to save her hair, they came to the breath-stealing realization that ultimately they would need to cut it off. Upon delivering this news, I noticed she glared at herself in the mirror looking defeated and I felt so bad for her. She didn’t know the “must detangle after braids before washing” rule. She ended up finding out the hard way.
The same goes with life sometimes. What’s common knowledge to some, becomes knowledge via a knock down experience to others. It’s like trial and error. As children, we typically learn about something being hot because we feel the heat under our palm when the faucet water is too hot or when we venture near the stove.
As adults, we learn that texting a new crush back to back 10 times can look kinda bonkers and we may find ourselves ghosted or left on read as a result. Most may read that and say “duh” but every bit of knowledge isn’t common knowledge.
In fact, when it comes to mindset, the knowledge around this isn’t so common either. We don’t learn about our mindset or how to master it from school, our well-meaning parents don’t teach us about it, and friends are just as lost about it as we are.
The knowledge about mindset is often MIA. It’s hiding in books, practices, and classes unrecognizable to the unhealed soul, who is often unaware they need to do mindset work in the first place. People are often oblivious to their triggers, what calms their nervous system, their trauma responses, or their negative beliefs.
Or they’re aware of their subconscious programming and just avoid these things because it’s automatically assumed to be “tough to deal with or easier to ignore.”
However, by avoiding the work on your mindset, you ignore the fractured parts of yourself that need healing. Unlike a broken arm where you can visibly see the injury, the injuries of our minds, our hearts, and our egos, appear invisible to the naked eye but are deeply felt by the naked soul.
So, just like hair care, mindset work requires care, attention, and intentionality.
Avoiding a simple step such as detangling before washing can have a major impact on the results you desire. The same can be said about neglecting our mindset. Disregarding the healing of your mindset can lead to tangles in life that are harder to manage down the line.
The woman at the salon learned an important lesson the hard way. But the beauty of life is that we can learn from others’ experiences without having to go through the same hardships ourselves. Mindset work might not be something you learned growing up, but it’s never too late to start. Just like you care for your hair, take time to care for your mind and soul too.
Mind your mane AND your mind.
The more you practice this, the more manageable and healthier both will become.
Mini Exercise: This week, take a moment to identify one area of your life that feels “tangled” or neglected. It might be a relationship, a personal goal, or even your self-talk. Write down one small step you can take to start "detangling" that area. Maybe it's setting a boundary, dedicating time to something you love, or challenging a negative thought. Commit to taking that step and notice how it feels to start untangling your inner knots.
Say this to yourself, out loud or in your mind, 3 times
Say it as though you mean it + feel it in your body.
“I choose to do the inner work on my mindset because my future self deserves it.”
XO,
Kelley Green Johnson